lacking self confedince

Question
QUESTION: Iv been playing softball since I was about 3 years old up and till now I'm
17. Well when I play and make a mistake I get so down on my self so
fast and easy! Its so bad say if I miss 2 balls that my coach hits to me I
will start cussing at my self putting my self down and saying I can't do it.
I'm tired of putting my self down and having ZERO confidence in my self
I want to change I just don't know how to do it. I know I'm a heck of a
player!! I'm just never consistant and it makes me mad. I think right
when I make a mistake I just give up! I am a senior in high school and
this will be my last year for softball and I really want a scholarship to any
school I just want to play ball! I just don't think that I will get a
scholarship if I keep putting my self down and giving up! I just need
some advice to help me out with what I should do as far as my
confidence goes for my self I really need help iv been trying to change it
on my own I just can't its gets the best of me and I hate it! Every body
tells me I'm way to hard on my self! But it could be a good thing and a
bad thing but its just a bad thing! So I just posted this question any
where cause its kinda confussing where to post it, but if any one has any
answers on how to build my confidnce I would extremly appreciate it
thank you!

ANSWER: Ashley,

You have asked an extremely difficult question.  Some of my answer may be tough for you to swallow.  In my experience, players that are to hard on themselves tend to be to self focused or are to worried about what others will think.  You have to remember that you are part of a team.  

While it is good to be concerned about making mistakes and to practice so that those mistakes don't repeat themselves very often, you have to remember that you can not let one mistake become two mistakes.  I can tell you that when you make a mistake, you have to move on.  You can't change the past you can only control what happens next.  I can't tell you mentally how to do this on the internet.  The only thing that I will suggest here is that you encourage team mates when they make a mistake.

Even the best screw up from time to time.  Focus on what you are doing correctly and practice to strengthen your weaknesses.


Tom

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Iv been playing ball for so long I think that I'm to good to make a
mistake I think that's why I get so mad at my self witch is dumb because
everyone makes mistakes.

Answer
Ashley,

Your follow up kind of goes back to the second sentence of my original reply.  Like you said, everyone makes mistakes.  Pro baseball players make mistakes.  Softball players at the highest levels make mistakes.  They happen and always will.  

Remember, you are part of a team.  Start focusing on that instead of yourself.  When you make a mistake, own it and move on.  That is what is best for the the team.

Tom