David Feherty Golden Ferrets 2009(II)

Brian Gay: The Gay Ferret

Who's the only player so good that when he's on he might be unbeatable, even by you-know-who, and so deserves an eponymous Ferret? That's right, Brian Gay. He is the best player hardly ever mentioned when people are talking about great players, and he has the ability to block out the world and play his own technically superb game and win by shocking margins. Also, his wife, Kimberly (who, if you think about it, is his Gay lover), is a doll.

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Sergio Garcia: The Concrete Monkey Ferret

To golfers:  callaway x-22 irons           titleist ap2 irons

Best player without a major victory? It's still Sergio. He also wins the Unluckiest Ferret again this year, and the Untimely Honesty Ferret, and the Let Someone Else Say That Ferret. Despite this, I believe in him. I think he has the heart and the talent, and he will win more than one. I thought the same about Phil. Look it up if you like.

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Angel Cabrera: The Best Player to Have Won Only Two Majors Ferret

Yes, I know Angel Cabrera looks like he should be carrying a huge club and dragging a woman out of a cave by her hair, but believe me, the big Argentinian is a player and a gentleman. You should start believing in him — he'll be around for a while.

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The Mickelsons: The Family Ferret

The Mickelsons win this one at a canter. With his mother Mary and wife Amy both stricken by cancer, Phil played the Tour this year with an unbelievable burden, largely because the two most important women in his life would have kicked his ass out the door if he hadn't. Hopefully no reader can imagine what the Mickelson family is going through right now, but with this column I send them all the love in the world, and thank them for the strength they have shown, which has been an inspiration to so many.

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Y.E. Yang: Shot of the Year Ferret


The Academy could not reach consensus here, so we have a tie between Y. E. Yang's second to the last hole of the PGA Championship at Hazeltine, and one of Tiger's. That's how weird it's become — he of the gilded gonads hits so many shots that are in a different category from everyone else's that by the end of a season it's all a blur, kind of like the '90s were for me. (I know I played in a Ryder Cup, but only because of the pictures, and I'd be doubtful even about that if it hadn't happened before Photoshop.)

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